The truth and nothing but the truth

True story. Yesterday afternoon I was on the elliptical watching Oprah in our master bedroom.

I really was, I swear. But that's not what makes the story true. The truth about the story lies in the fact that while I'm exercising, I'm watching Jessica Simpson explain to Oprah that she really wears a size 4 and sometimes a 6, and she really did eat a corn dog before that infamous "fat" picture of her went circulating around of her singing at some fair. They also accused her of wearing Mom jeans. Now I have to admire Jessica for being happy and feeling beautiful no matter what size she is. She made me proud the way she handled all the "weight issue" questions. And although I feel that Jessica Simpson certainly doesn't have any "weight issues", she tells Oprah that the size of the jeans she was wearing when that picture was taken was a 4.

Jessica, if those jeans were a size 4 you were wearing that day, then there's no way I was 205 lbs when I delivered my second child and I currently weigh 125 lbs.

And listen, far be it from me to give Jessica a hard time about her jeans since I haven seen a size 4 since middle school, but let's not stress so much on the numbers here. God designed us to be size 2's, 10's, 16's and everything in between. Let's start focusing on our inner beauty before we start worrying about what size pants we wear.

*step's off soapbox now*

Now the point of all this is that while I was engrossed in listening to Jessica Simpson on Oprah, my daughter was in the room kneeling by the pile of clean laundry that I had just folded. I giggled when she turned around wearing my bra and I ran to grab my camera to sneak a few shots. What I wasn't expecting was what she was about to tell me regarding her bra wearing experience.



"It feels like I'm wearing a purse with two babies in it..."

The End.

Just keeping it real

Listen.

I probably don't need to tell you that I have a very silly family.

As a matter of fact, I probably don't even need to share any silly stories or pictures as proof that we are indeed a very silly family.


But that just wouldn't be much fun, would it?

It all started on a dark and stormy night. Except that it was sunny and still late afternoon. I was upstairs reading updates on facebook cleaning when it dawned on me that for the last 20 minutes or so I'd been hearing some sort of commotion going on downstairs. It sounded like some plastic paper being crumpled, some scratching, some clanking...maybe from furniture?

And then some really eerie silence.

Im not sure why it took me so long for my brain to process the noise? Okay that's not really true, I was VERY busy cleaning remember?

So I decide it was time to go downstairs to check things out. I get half-way down the stairs and this is what I see...

MmmmmmHmmmmm..yes it is. It's an entire roll of those small garbage bags that I just purchased the day before and the kids totally "toilet papered" my kitchen while I was upstairs.

It's okay though because I got the oldest back with a spatula full of refried beans to the face at the dinner table.

It's just another example of the classiness and grace that I convey as a mother.

The same classiness and grace can be seen by my grandmother in a recent lunch date for her birthday.

And honestly, if you cant have fun making french-fry moustache's with your family, then you're really not living. Because as far as Im concerned, these are the moments that actually keep us grounded.

Speaking of grounded, that's exactly what will become of these kids if I ever find my kitchen to be covered in trash bags and looking like a roped off crime scene again.

Sympathy is overrated anyway

Is anybody out there?

So it's no secret I don't update the blog as much as I used to. I just can't seem to find the time. I do, however, have lots of time to spend on facebook and the internet catching up on Real Housewives of Orange County recaps and watching full Modern Family episodes.

I also want to let the cat out of the bag and tell you that for a long time I referred to my husband as only "T" but his name is really Tom. Actually it's Billie with an "ie", like a girl and his middle name is Thomas. Hence Tom. So, I'm not sure if I was trying to protect his privacy, copying the reference from another blog, or if I was just tired of typing his name because its sooo long, but his name is Tom. That is how I will refer to him because he deserves to have a name instead of an initial. Plus, he never reads my blog so I'm sure privacy is not a concern. And for that matter, I'm not sure how many people do read my blog anymore.

I realized over the weekend that while I may be approaching 30 yrs old, I handle being sick as well as the kids do. Which is not good. I found myself in the mist of a stomach flu, all alone in my bedroom. I was laying on the bed dying of nausea and stomach cramps when my husband came in. Relieved, I thought he was going to come sit with me, maybe offer a cold rag or something. He literally took one glance at me and shut the door. Angry with the lack of sympathy I crawled to the bathroom floor where I decided to make my moans heard throughout the house.

I waited. I waited some more.

Nothing.

I crawled out of the bathroom and peaked out of my door and found my two children and the man who promised to take care of me through SICKNESS and in health eating chicken wings and watching the Superbowl.

Desperate for attention I do the only thing that I knew to do.

I called my Nana.

She understands me even when the world abandons me. I could just see her nodding in agreement as I'm describing all the injustice.

"I take care of EVERYONE around here when they are sick," (sob, sob, gasp) and this is the way they treat me!? They just leave me in here to DIE!?"

Well hello dramatic, it's nice to meet you.

Would you believe that I actually started to feel better after I got off the phone with her? If that wasn't bad enough it was only a few hours later that my poor son came down with the same thing. The Superbowl was still on.

My husband put our daughter to bed and nursed Kyle and I (while trying to watch the game) for the rest of the evening. He even stayed up with Kyle until the wee hours of the morning, long after I had crashed for the night. I guess he does take that whole in SICKNESS and in health thing a lot more serious than I give him credit for.

Did you know that Virginia turned into Antarctica over the last couple weeks? Uh huh..it's true.
We've had a lot of snow and we've been stuck inside for many days. Kyle hasn't been to school in two weeks and getting to work has been very tricky. But it's all good, ya know why?
I told myself at the beginning of the year that God made snow and cold weather (in case you hadn't heard) and so if He made it, I was going to make the best of it. So while I don't really enjoy it, I can certainly appreciate the beauty of it.






Amen.

Do you know what else I can appreciate?



Sigh. I certainly do.

Last but certainly not least today is my Nana's birthday! I love you so much Nan and you are such a blessing to me. Thank you for your unconditional love and support:)