When we go from scrambled eggs to pop tarts

I was allowed the opportunity to begin working a part-time schedule once Kyle started school. This allows me to get him on and off the bus and it's the next closest thing to being a stay at home Mom. When I first approached the idea to my work last May and it was approved, I started envisioning my new morning routine with the kids. Our mornings (in my dream) included sleeping in a bit longer, watching cartoons, and walking Kyle down our driveway to the bus stop. But none of this would happen before (in my mind) I prepared a delicious hot meal consisting of eggs and toast washed down with a glass of orange juice.

So the first day arrived and while I didn't exactly sleep in (blaming it on the nerves) I did prepare a delicious hot breakfast consisting of eggs and toast, washed down with a glass of orange juice.

The day after the first day arrived and while I didn't exactly sleep in (afraid of Kyle missing the bus since the bus forgot to pick him up the day before) I did prepare a delicious hot breakfast consisting of frozen pancakes.

My friends, the days of a hot breakfast have come and gone. This morning and every morning this week I have prepared a breakfast consisting of cookies and cream pop tarts. In my defense, I do offer to cook a healthier breakfast selection for the kids EVERY morning and I get turned down. Apparently eggs have nothing on a nutritionally void, sugar laced, breakfast pastry.

I have also used the word breakfast no less than 39 times in that last paragraph.

So this dream of mine isn't exactly turning out the way I had expected. I actually get up earlier to prepare a mediocre breakfast, watch 3 minutes of cartoons, and then I walk Kyle down to the bus.

Things have become more hectic then they have ever been. We've always been a very busy family, but between T's work schedule changes, Kyle's soccer, and Alyssa now being old enough to start an extra curricular activity, I'm pretty tired.

As I took my walk yesterday, I was listening to"Here I am to Worship" by Hillsong and I felt God really talking to my heart yesterday about priorities. It's so easy to feel so sorry for myself and talk about how tired my kids make me feel until I think about our little cousin Matthew who has been in the hospital for a week now. I bet his parents would love to feel tired from running their kids to sports rather than sit in a hospital wondering why their son is having medical issues.

I also thought about my issues with good intentions. How did my breakfast go from eggs to pop tarts? How did my church attendance go from every week to haven't gone in 3 weeks now? How did I go from excited and ready to join a bible study to just waiting until the next study because my life is too busy now?

Thankfully God knows my heart and I am saved through his grace. I will never become this perfect person who does everything the way I am supposed to. However, that doesn't mean that I shouldn't stop working to put God first in everything I do and striving to be the mother that I want and need to be.

"Here I am to worship" is not a new song for many people but it was for me. I have heard it many times now and I still cant listen to these words without having tears in my eyes.

"I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross."

To think that Jesus died for me, an undeserving sinner who does nothing but continue to do mediocre things everyday really makes me want to do better in my life, strengthen my relationship with God, and turn that outward to my friends and family.

God's given me more than I need or deserve and I am so thankful.