Happy Birthday Kyle

Six years ago today I gave birth to a boy that completely changed my perspective on life and the world as I knew it. Oh sure, people told me there would be sleepless nights but I never fully grasped that concept until our first night home from the hospital. I remember one of the nurses hugging me with tearful eyes of pity because she too was a single Mom and I remember thinking I have no idea why this woman is crying. I was getting ready to be a Mom! I can handle this!

Boy oh boy if I only knew.

Tonight I watched Kyle at our dinner table blowing out his candles with the help of his sister and his friend that lives across the street. I was fighting back the tears thinking I have a kid who is old enough to have friends that live across the street. Wasn't I just a kid that had friends across the street? Weren't we just at his first birthday party watching him devour his birthday cake while wearing a cute red plaid shirt and dark denim jeans?

Nope. We are here. Six years later. He's still up playing his new Nintendo DS and I'm in the computer room having an emotional breakdown. I sit here wondering if Kyle will ever get a chance to read this and thinking that if he does, I should probably apologize for some crummy things I've done to him these past six years. Six to be exact.

1. I'm sorry I let you scream for 5 hours straight because I had no idea that nipples came in different sizes and the one we had was too small and you weren't getting any formula from it.

2. I'm sorry for sticking that thermometer in your butt no less that 15 times because I had no idea why you were crying for 5 hours straight. Now I now it's because of reason #1.

3. I'm sorry for swinging you around by your arms in a circle at Grandpa's farm and accidentally letting go of you. You hit the gravel really hard and I felt terrible. I still have no idea what possessed me to let you go.

4. I'm sorry for not taking you to the emergency room when you fell and cut your forehead open on the dresser. It looked like a deep gash but I didn't want to be one of those freak out Moms who take their kids to the hospital for every little thing. I mean, I used to be an EMT for crying out loud, you think I would know if something needed stitches or not. Well anyway, it probably did need stitches because you have a bad scar there now. I'm hoping you will either grow out of it, or by the time you actually care about your appearance they will have a great scar removal in which I will personally buy for you.

5. I'm sorry for making you dress like a chicken for Halloween when you were two but I just couldn't help it. You were the cutest chicken I evah seen!

6. I'm sorry I was too busy looking at paint samples to realize you were running on my roof. That was by far the scariest day of my life and if I catch you opening that upstairs window ever again you are grounded for the rest of your life. I don't care how old you are.

I hope you know how much I love you Kyle Michael, and I want you to know that I wouldn't trade a single sleepless, scary, sick, frustrated, tantrum infested day or night for anything in the world!

Happy 6th Birthday Kyle!

Love,
Mommy